Solemnly Swear
by daily-chan
Summary: At the start of third year, James, Remus and Peter discover that Sirius is abused by his relatives. Part of the A Bond of Family series. Rating is for safety reasons.
1. Chapter 1

Solemnly Swear

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters.

Warnings: Mentioning of abuse and described injuries because of it.

Rating: T for safety reasons.

Summary: At the start of third year, James, Remus and Peter discover that Sirius is abused by his relatives. Part of the A Bond of Family series. Rating is for safety reasons.

Special thanks to Kitty for beta-ing and proof reading this, for your endless patience and lessons to help me get better.

Chapter 1

James frowned when Remus glanced at Sirius for the seventh time in just as many minutes as the dark-haired boy was eating dinner; even more subdued than he normally was at dinnertime.

But James wasn't really worried as he knew his best friend was always a bit quieter at the Start-of-Term Feast, so he wasn't sure why Remus seemed uneasy.

He was just about to lean across the table and ask what was wrong when he noticed himself that Sirius was paler than usual as the boy shifted beside him, hand shaking a little as he picked up his glass.

"Hey, are you all right?" James leaned closer so others wouldn't overhear their conversation.

"Yeah, I...you know what, No. I actually don't feel so well. I think I'll call it a night if you don't mind," Sirius smiled faintly.

"Do you want me to come with you?"James asked, taking the admission as a cue to check on him better.

He was indeed pale and from the cloak he wore, James knew his friend was cold despite the hot weather.

"I'll be fine, I'll just go get the password from Frank," Sirius paused. "Although, if you can get Pete to nick something for if I feel better later, I wouldn't say no to that."

"Consider it done," James smiled, sharing a nod with his best friend as the dark-haired boy moved to where Frank Longbottom was seated and spoke to him for a few moments before Sirius left the Great Hall.

"Where is he going?" Peter asked with his mouth full and Remus shifted away so he wouldn't get sprayed with food.

"He wasn't feeling well so he went to bed early," Remus grimaced. "Would you mind waiting with the questions until your mouth's empty?"

"Sorry," Peter grinned unashamed and Remus shook his head fondly as he leaned over the table to James.

"You're going after him, aren't you?"

"I'll give him half an hour," James picked up a few napkins and collected several pieces of roast chicken and beef, folding it into the napkin as he knew Sirius liked those and they would keep for a longer period of time than the other types of food should he be nauseous.

"Mind keeping some dessert apart, Pete?" he asked as he subtly slid the package into his robes before picking up some for himself.

"Some chocolate gateau?" Peter suggested.

"No, you know Sirius hasn't much of a sweet tooth. Some fruits and strawberries will be more appreciated," Remus shook his head. "Don't worry, we'll put something together."

"Thanks. Be sure to include some peppermint humbugs, if he's still unwell tomorrow morning they might make him feel better," James smiled as he rolled some roast potatoes and a pork chop into a second napkin and slid that into his pocket, too, before finishing his lamb, raising an eyebrow as a note was passed to him.

 _Quid Agis. Wish him well – Frank._

James smiled, giving Frank a nod as the Prefect caught his gaze and smoothly slid the clean plate Remus slid towards him underneath his robes before he rose to his feet. "I'll see you two later."

"Don't let us keep you up," Remus smiled and James nodded in gratitude, hearing the underlying promise they'd stay away long enough for Sirius to fall asleep.

He made his way out of the Great Hall, ignoring McGonagall's curious eyes on him as he did and quickly made his way to Gryffindor Tower.

"My, aren't you boys early. Are you unwell, too?" the Fat Lady raised an eyebrow as she caught sight of him.

"Quid Agis. No, just thought I'd call it an early night, too," James quickly passed through when she swung open and made his way to the dorm, having the decency to knock softly before he entered.

"Sirius?"

"James?" Sirius appeared out of the bathroom in his night clothes, clearly having just cleaned up as his hair was still damp. "You didn't have to leave the feast for me."

"I know, but I wanted to. Besides, I brought provisions in case you were still hungry as you hardly touched your dinner."

"I am a little hungry," Sirius admitted as he crossed their dorm to his bed, sitting down as James came to him.

"Well, you're in luck then because I got all your favourites," James slipped the plate from under his robes and placed it on the night-stand, digging out the napkins filled with food and displaying them on the plate.

"Chicken sounds really good," Sirius smiled as he pushed one of his pillows up so that he could lean against the headboard as James stoked up the fire in the fireplace so the room would heat up.

Once he was done, he sat across of Sirius on the bed, handing him the chicken legs with a napkin.

They ate in silence for a while and James was pleased to see a little more colour return to Sirius' face as the room steadily warmed up.

"Why don't you brush your teeth while I preserve these for when you wake up, hm?" he suggested as Sirius' eyes began to drop soon after.

"Yeah."

James pulled back the sheets and returned the pillow to its usual place as Sirius disappeared into the bathroom, relieved that the other had eaten both some chicken and some roast beef.

He stuffed the remainders of the food into the area they kept any snacks in and cast the usual spells that would keep the food both cool and fresh for a few days.

He looked up when Sirius returned from the bathroom and joined him at the bed again, smiling as Sirius slipped inside, pulling the comforter up as he curled up on his side.

"Are you comfortable?"

"Yeah, thank you," Sirius smiled, shifting as James tucked the comforter around him a bit more securely.

"Would you like me to stay with you until you fall asleep?" James asked softly, aware that Sirius usually slept better when someone was near.

"You could just crawl in beside me, you know," Sirius flashed him a tired smile. "It's not like it would be the first time and we both know you'll fall asleep sitting up if you stay."

"True," James chuckled. "I'll be right back then."

He made quick work of showering and brushing his teeth before returning to Sirius' side, smiling when he realised the other had already retrieved his pillow and made room for him.

He crawled in beside him, raising an arm so that Sirius could curl up beside him like he usually did when they slept in the same bed, but Sirius shook his head.

"I'll just lie beside you; don't want to wake you if I need to leave the bed."

"You know I wouldn't mind, but how about you just lean against me. You're shivering," James suggested, smiling when Sirius curled up against him and rested his head on his collar bone.

He took his hand, frowning when he realised Sirius was actually a little warmer than usual to the touch, but as the younger boy relaxed beside him, he held his tongue and just stroked his thumb over the back of Sirius' hand.

It didn't take long for Sirius' breathing to even out and James smiled sleepily as he kept the comforting gesture up, quickly joining him into sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

"Are you all right?" Remus asked two and a half weeks later when he noticed Sirius looked rather flushed as they met up during break time.

"Peachy," Sirius immediately sighed after the irritated words. "I didn't mean to snap at you, sorry."

"It's all right, you probably get tired of us asking you that all the time," Remus smiled as he knew it was true.

Since the welcoming feast James, Peter and he had been taking turns to inquire about Sirius' health as the boy didn't seem to improve much.

He followed their classes regularly as far as he knew, although it was hard to know for sure because he often skipped classes when they overlapped with other subjects he followed and could just as easily have been skipping class altogether without them ever noticing.

"Mostly James. Peter's too timid to bug me with questions like that and you only do so every few days. But James has asked me five times today already and it's not even noon yet," Sirius sighed.

"We're just worried about you. You are flushed and your skin is hotter than normal to the touch," Remus hesitated, looking around before he leaned in. "And you smell off."

Remus blinked as something akin to fear seemed to flash over Sirius' features, but it had turned into a raised eyebrow before he'd had the chance to be certain, so he brushed it off.

"Are you implying that you have a habit of sniffing at me to know exactly when I smell off?"

Remus flushed but couldn't stop the laugh that slipped out. "You know what I mean."

"You're lucky that I do and don't take it to imply I smell," Sirius teased. "But I'm all right. Just a lingering cold that I cannot seem to shake completely."

"Maybe you should go see Madam Pomfrey. It's been almost three weeks now."

"No, no hospital wing. I'm fine, Rem. Where are James and Peter?"

"Peter had to go see Professor Slughorn about his failed Potions essay and told me James had to report to McGonagall after getting detention in Divination."

"Again? Even after we helped him out he still failed his essay?"

"You're surprised about that but not that James got his second detention in less than three weeks in the same subject?" Remus asked amused.

"You do remember it's James, right? He thinks Divination is a load of crap and doesn't exactly hide that opinion."

"Fair enough," Remus laughed. "I think he's still mentally cursing both you and Peter for having to take the subject."

"Not our fault. He could have refused when Peter said he was interested. Just because we decided to share the classes, doesn't mean we have to do so with every single one. None of you follow several of my classes either and I am going to be seriously late for Ghoul Studies if I don't leave now," he glanced at his watch. "See you at Runes later?"

"Yeah, see you then," Remus watched him hurry of with a small frown as the same off smell hit his nostrils when Sirius hastened away.

He didn't know what it was, but it had become increasingly worse over the course of the last few weeks. It wasn't a disgusting smell, but a weird one that he instinctively knew shouldn't linger around his friend's form.

"Hey, did I miss Sirius?" James' voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he turned to him.

"Yeah, he had to leave to Ghoul Studies," Remus hesitated. "I don't think he's getting any better, James."

"No, me neither. We'll have to keep a closer eye on him and if needed drag him to the hospital wing if he refuses to let us help him," James rubbed at his eyes.

"Are your eyes bothering you again?"

"Yeah, Sirius claims I need glasses because the potions he's been brewing for me don't help much and I keep getting these horrible headaches," James sighed. "Maybe I could make a deal with him that I'll let my eyes get checked if he lets us help him."

"Or you could just both stop being so darn stubborn," Remus teased.

James only laughed as they went to class.

Xxxxx

It was only two days later that Peter pulled Remus aside when he was on his way to Muggle Studies.

"It's Sirius, he's sick," the mousy brown-haired boy whispered to him as he began to pull him with him.

"I know. He's been unwell since the beginning of term."

"No, he was throwing up and feverish when James send me to find you," Peter shook his head urgently.

"How high is the fever?" Remus asked alarmed, hurrying with Peter back to their dorm.

"It looked high; he was sweating and shaking like a leaf at the same time."

They arrived to a deserted Gryffindor Tower in no time and hurried up to their dorm where James was fretting over a coughing Sirius.

"James?"

"He's burning up, Remus," James was using a cold cloth to try and cool Sirius down. "He refuses to let me take him to the hospital wing."

"Just let me sleep, I'll be fine," Sirius tried to swat the cloth away but his movements were sluggish and the off smell Remus had smelt since the beginning of term reached him again, more severely than before.

"You need help, Sirius," Remus choked out. "You smell worse and..."

"Smell?" James asked confused.

"Yeah, he smells off. Has been since the Welcoming Feast and it's gotten steadily worse."

"Off how?"

"I don't know...kind of like a wound that got infected," Remus admitted. "But he hasn't gotten hurt this term yet..."

"Like an infected wound, huh?" James held up a hand to cut him off, turning back to Sirius. "Were you hurt at Hogwarts? Or before?"

Remus realised that their friend had indeed gotten hurt without them knowing even when the youngest of their group shook his head in denial.

"Sirius...I know, we all do."

Remus shifted uncomfortable as Sirius tensed completely, not sure how James knew he'd suspected their friend came from an abusive home or why he chose to reveal it so blatantly now.

"Know what?"

"That your parents beat you," Remus whispered.

"They've never laid a hand on me," there was no hesitation in his voice and Remus turned to James as the other's eyes narrowed as he cupped Sirius' chin to make him look up to him.

"What about a wand, then?"

A cold shiver ran down Remus' spine as it got through to him what exactly James was implying and his heart clenched when Sirius flinched, shrugging James' touch off, suddenly realising why Sirius was ill.

"Leave it."

"Siri..."

"No, James."

"We just want to help you."

"You'll only make it worse," Sirius whispered, clenching the sheets covering his legs as he was leaning against the headboard.

Remus was sure that he'd have left if he had the strength for it.

"How could we make it worse?" Peter asked.

"You don't understand," Sirius shook his head.

"Then help us understand. We're your friends, Sirius. All we want to do is help you," James softly said.

"You can't help me."

"Why not?" Remus raised an eyebrow as the dark-haired boy shied away from James when he reached for his hand.

"They'll kill you," tears appeared in the feverish grey eyes, making Remus swallow thickly.

In all the time he'd known the young Black heir, he had never seen him shed a tear and the fact that tears openly appeared in his eyes now scared him.

"Why would they kill us?" James asked.

"For knowing, they'll stage an accident if they have to. You won't...first Tuffy and then the man was killed...I couldn't, I can't...please don't ask me..."

The fear in Sirius' eyes caused James to pull him into his arms, holding him even when the smaller boy tensed.

"If it makes a difference then we promise that we won't tell anyone that we know," Remus suggested softly, not wanting to be the reason Sirius withdrew again now that he'd finally opened up a little.

"We're pretty good at keeping secrets," Peter piped up in a clear attempt to make him smile, but Sirius only shook his head.

"They'll know. They always find out, I don't want to see any of you hurt."

"We don't want to see you hurt either," James countered, sighing when it didn't seem to change the other's mind.

"Tell you what. We swear that we won't speak to anyone about this and you at least let us take care of you. You are sick and I am pretty sure that the reason for your lingering illness is hidden by the Rune on your wrist," James removed Sirius' watch.

Remus blinked surprised as an unusual looking Rune was revealed, one he did not recognise.

"I didn't want you to know, they'll hurt you..." Sirius closed his eyes; all the colour draining from his face and Remus quickly pushed a trash can forward, just in time as the ill boy threw up again.

James held him steady as Sirius mostly dry heaved, barely anything in his stomach that he could lose and raised a hand to rub his back when he was done.

But the touch made Sirius cry out in pain and almost upset the trash can as he jerkily tried to shift away.

Remus hurriedly pushed the trash can away with his foot, even as James Vanished the contents, hands lingering above their shivering friend as he was afraid to hurt him again.

"I swear that we won't tell anyone, but you need to let us help you. You say you don't want to see us hurt, but how do you think we feel, knowing you are hurt and not being able to do anything because you won't let us help?"

That seemed to get through to Sirius as he blinked up to James, or maybe it were the tears in the other's eyes, Remus didn't know.

"You swear?" Sirius looked sceptical.

"How about I solemnly swear? It is a definite promise and unlike a simple oath, it is not allowed to break a solemnly oath."

Remus was pretty sure it was complete bullocks what James was rambling now, but it seemed to do the trick for Sirius as his feverish mind seemed to accept the weird logic as binding.

"Like an Unbreakable Vow?"

"Yes, but without the dying part," James nodded.

"Then swear," Sirius whispered and did not pull away as James reached for his hand again, shoulders slumped as he seemed to accept that they wouldn't accept no for an answer.

"I solemnly swear that I will not talk to anyone, outside of those present here right now, about what is learned here today."

"I solemnly swear, too," Remus and Peter said in unison.

Sirius stared at them with glassy eyes for a long moment before he shifted his attention back to James.

"I couldn't reach them properly. I tried but they dislocated my arm and it remains painful even after I popped it back into place."

"They dislocated your arm?" Peter's eyes went wide but James waved him off.

"Couldn't reach what?"

"The ones in my back. I treated the others, but I couldn't treat those beside sort of wrapping them."

"Will you show us?" James helped Sirius remove his pyjama jacket when he gave a hesitant nod and Remus braced himself as he wasn't sure what to expect.

But only a few faint bruises and a few scattered scars were revealed, even though the sight of the obviously too thin body still made Remus curse himself for not making his friend eat more despite being unwell.

But overall the damage was not even half as bad as he'd feared and he was about to smile when James brushed a finger deliberately over the Rune on Sirius' left wrist.

"You designed that yourself, specifically to hide the worst injuries, didn't you?"

"I had to," Sirius muttered, not looking up to him. "Known Runes can be countered."

"How do I lift it?"

"With the Rune for friend," Sirius sounded resigned as the conversation had clearly spent all his remaining energy.

Remus noted he looked even more feverish than before, his short wavy hair sticking to the back of his neck from sweat and he was shaking more noticeable now than before.

"Ja..." he swallowed the rest of what he was going to say as suddenly deep, horrible looking bruises appeared on Sirius' flushed skin, travelling criss-cross from what was visible of his torso to his right shoulder and disappearing from sight there.

Several wounds, in various states of healing littered his arms and torso, stretching out from underneath the badly applied bandages, which ran in a weird pattern over his ribs and stomach.

It took Remus a moment to realise that the bandages weren't meant for the wounds there, but for his back and he suddenly wasn't sure if he truly wanted to see what they were hiding if these were indeed treated wounds.

From James' clenched teeth, he knew it wasn't good but still found himself moving closer to get a look at Sirius' back.

"Peter, get me a bowl of warm water, two clean cloths and a bunch of towels," he forced out as he stared at the dirty mess of bandages that were clearly sticking to various wounds.

"What spells did you use to try and heal it?" James shook his head to pull himself together and examined the bandages, not actually touching them.

"None. Healing spells don't work on the spells they used."

"Dark magic?" James' voice was thick and at Sirius' nod he moved back to face Sirius and took his hands again, entwining their fingers together.

It was only then that Remus became aware of just how tense Sirius was, how hunched in on himself he was.

"Have you taken any pain relieving potions?"

"Just one, yesterday," Sirius sounded apologetic.

"Why wouldn't you..." Remus couldn't for the life of him figure out why the hurt boy wouldn't take a potion when he was clearly in pain, but James interrupted him.

"Please tell me you weren't saving them for Remus."

Remus closed his eyes, horrified as he realised that, yes, that was exactly what Sirius had been doing. He knew it was true, even when Sirius only shrugged a little.

"P..."

"Already got it," the brown-haired boy handed James the potion he'd retrieved and James immediately made Sirius take it, his frame relaxing slightly.

"I picked up the first aid kit he's got stashed underneath his bed, too," Peter placed the bowl onto the nightstand and the kit on the bed beside James.

"No, that's emergency stuff," Sirius argued as James immediately looked through it while Remus picked up the cloth and wetted it, placing two of the towels on the bed behind Sirius.

"I think this counts as an emergency," James said as he placed the kit to the side and carefully pulled Sirius forward so he'd rest his head against his shoulder as he understood what Remus was going to do. "Do you think Murtlap Essence will work?"

Sirius sighed, admitting defeat as he let himself be pulled forward without argument and shifted slightly so that he was leaning more comfortably against James, but remained mostly upright so that Remus could work.

It wasn't the first time bandages had gotten stuck to wounds, so they knew exactly what to do, but it normally was Remus leaning against James as Sirius treated his self inflicted wounds.

The reversed roles made Remus grimly set to work, cleaning his hands, then carefully cutting the bandages loose from around Sirius' torso and wetting the ones stuck to the wounds in his back so that they'd loosen on their own.

Bile rose as the off smell became stronger and more fiercely attacked his nose but he forced himself to keep his stomach contents where they were as he applied more water to the bandages. But it still took several attempts to even begin loosen the bandages.

But once they did, he began to carefully remove the dirty layers, reapplying water where needed and trying to ignore both the smell and the ragged breathing of the boy he was no doubt hurting.

"I..." his eyes widened and the nausea returned tenfold as the last piece of the bandages came loose, finally uncovering the wounds underneath and James choked at what was revealed.

Peter quickly looked away with a slightly green look as James' grip tightened, quickly loosening again when Sirius gave a low moan of pain, burrowing deeper into James' collarbone.

"Shhh, it's all right. They are loose now...w-we'll clean them out and then rewrap them so that you can get some rest, hmm?" James choked out, tears filling his eyes as he couldn't seem to look away from the horrifying wounds.

Not that Remus could blame them as he too stared at slashes that had been carved into Sirius' back, forming a crude tree as the wounds spread out from his shoulders towards his lower back, ending just above his waistline in a thick base.

It told Remus that the slashes – a whip from the sight of it, has come down from above, Sirius below the monster who'd done this as it slashed various patterns, but ending at the same area every time.

But worse than the sight of a tree carved into the inflamed skin was the clear sign of infection that had settled into most of the deep wounds, especially in the middle where Sirius wouldn't have been able to reach.

Thick yellowish green pus was oozing out of the inflamed wounds where Remus had broken the skin and horrified he realised he'd have to re-open all of them to be able to clean them out properly.

"I-is there anything that might let him sleep through this?"

"Maybe... _Accio Sleeping Draught_ ," James pointed his wand at the open window.

They all held their breath as nothing happened for a long moment, but then a potion soared through the window and they collectively breathed out relieved.

James wasted no time in making Sirius swallow the potion and the moment his body went limp Remus set to work.

He carefully scrubbed the wounds open one by one, having Peter retrieve new bowls of water repeatedly as he washed out as much of the infection as he could until clear red blood trickled out of the wounds.

Once he was done he turned to James.

"You mentioned Murtlap Essence?"

"Yeah, I'll do that if you take him. I've got Dittany, too."

Nodding, Remus changed places with James, shifting Sirius' limp form to rest draped over his lap, carefully resting his head on his thigh so that it would be easier for James to apply the potions but Sirius would still be comfortable.

James nodded his thanks, Vanishing the contents of the used bowl before handing it to Peter to clean up and applying the Murtlap Essence to the now clean wounds.

"Wouldn't it be better to just use the Dittany?" Peter asked as he returned.

"Not when the wounds are infected," James shook his head. "If you apply Dittany to infected wounds, you only trap the infection inside the wounds."

He checked his progress, assuring himself he hadn't missed a single spot before closing the cork on the Murtlap Essence.

"By applying Murtlap Essence first, you take care of the infection and by covering the Essence with the Dittany, you trap it into the wound, letting the healing factor do its work while the Dittany scabs the wounds over so no new infection can enter."

"Where did you learn that?" Peter asked curiously as Remus returned the Murtlap Essence to the kit.

"Sirius taught me when he was researching Healing magic to help Remus and Mum confirmed it when I asked her about it, she was a Healer in her working years," James revealed as he applied Dittany to each of the slashes.

"Should we apply gauzes to the wounds before bandaging them again?"

"Would be smarter, yes," Remus agreed, quickly picking them out of the kit and handing them over before frowning. "That's odd; normally Sirius keeps the kit completely up to date."

"What's missing?"

"Pepper Up Potion. I know he made new ones before the holidays," Remus looked at the labels on the phials, but came up empty.

"Probably used it up to try and lower his fever," James shrugged. "We'll just have to do it the hard way as I doubt the windows of the hospital wing will still be open now."

Remus glanced outside; surprised to see it was already getting dark.

"Pete, would you mind going to the kitchen to pick up something to eat for us?"

"Of course. Do you want me to stop by the hospital wing to see if I can nick some Pepper Up Potion, too?"

"Please," Remus smiled as Peter hurried out of the dorm before turning to James. "Do you want me to hold him up?"

"Yeah, I'd rather hurry though, he'll come around soon and I'd rather have him tucked into bed then."

Remus and James made quick work of wrapping the bandages around the wounds after James had taken a moment to apply some Star Grass Salve to the worst of the bruises.

Once Sirius was dressed in a loose nightshirt of James, Remus carefully lifted him into his arms so that James could quickly change the sheets, lowering him in the bed and tucking him in on his side when the other was done.

"Now what? Are we truly not going to warn anyone?"

"We swore."

"You don't actually believe in that crap you sprouted, do you?" Remus asked incredulously.

"How do you expect him to trust us if we break our promises? If we tell anyone we'll lose his trust," James ran a hand through his hair. "Besides, I don't think he was kidding when he said it would only make it worse."

"How could it possibly be worse? James, they _carved a tree_ into his back," Remus hissed.

"Yes, from what I could make out of his ramblings they killed two people who knew about the abuse and who knows what they did to him for letting it be discovered. Most of the Black descendants are insane and cruel and absolutely deranged about the purity of one's blood."

Remus took a deep breath. "You mean that it is very possible that they'd hurt him even worse if they found out we know. So what? We just stand by and do nothing as they basically torture him? I did see the other scars, James. Some of them are old, like really old."

"What do you want to do, tell a teacher?"

"Would it help to get him out of that abusive home?" Remus asked, fairly sure he already knew the answer to that.

"No, we'll need to tread lightly here. Not only are the Blacks deranged, they are also the oldest pure-blood family left and most of the other families married into their House. Their political power is immense and those married into the family listen to them. If the wrong person finds out we know, it could get him killed," James cursed under his breath as he sat on the bed and brushed the fringe out of Sirius' eyes.

"But I swear that I will do what I can to get him out of there. I'll talk with my parents during the Christmas holidays, but otherwise we have to keep it quiet if we don't want him to suffer worse than he already does."

"And just treat his wounds until we can get him out of there," Remus nodded, taking a seat on Sirius' other side as they waited for Peter to return and Sirius to wake up.


	3. Chapter 3

Remus and Sirius looked up from their books at the sound of someone cursing loudly and things breaking.

"What's the matter with him?" Sirius marked his place in his book and rose from his love seat.

"No idea, do you want me to come with you?"

"Nah, you keep researching useful spells for the map, I'll go see what's wrong," Sirius waved him off as he made his way up to their dorm.

"Did that chair truly deserve that horrific death for getting in your way or do you want to talk about it?" he leaned in the door opening as he surveyed the warzone their dorm had become in mere minutes since the cursing had begun.

The table they used to study at was overturned, as were two of the night stands and James' bed was a mess of blankets and torn curtains.

"Sirius..." James swirled around, guilt sliding over his angry expression immediately. "I..."

"Oh, don't let me stop you from wrecking our dorm. But our resident worry wart might be a bit put out since he just cleaned up this morning."

"He did?" James shuffled his feet conscious-stricken.

"Luckily for you, we're both pretty good with our magic and can clean it up before our Moony comes up."

"Why Moony?" James tapped the chair with his wand, immediately fixing it and turning it back upright.

"Because he only comes out at the full moon?" Sirius shrugged as he fixed the bedding with a sweep of his wand, remaking them with another. "I know the wolf is vicious and mean and basically everything that Remus is not, but he is as much a part of him as his lungs are. I don't know, it just seemed fitting. I know it is lame but Remus likes it."

"When on earth did you call him that?" James laughed, all the anger leaving his posture.

"It kind of slipped out last night when I was trying to calm him down."

"Another nightmare?"

"Always, so close to the full moon," Sirius watched as James returned the night stands to their original spots before repairing the curtains and reattaching them. "I see you've finally got the non-verbal casting down."

"About time, don't you think? We've been practising almost non-stop."

"True. So, now that the mess is cleaned up, do you want to talk about what pissed you off?" Sirius carefully lowered himself to sit on his bed.

"Not particularly. It'll ruin the good mood."

"Aren't we friends for better or worse?"

"That's a marriage phrase, Siri," James snorted, but sat down beside Sirius on the same bed.

"Details," Sirius smiled, shifting sidewards so they were facing each other and James sighed, copying his position as he crossed his legs.

"I kind of broke my vow," James admitted slowly, looking down at his hands.

"What vow?" Sirius asked confused.

"The one I took so you'd let us help you."

Sirius tensed and James swallowed thickly. "I didn't tell anyone, but I did talk to my parents."

"Why?" the hurt in Sirius' voice was unmistakable and James clenched his hands in his lap.

"I spoke to them in the hope that they'd be able to help, get you out of there," James admitted.

"They can't, James," Sirius sighed, the tenseness deflating as it made place for a simple acceptance.

"I had to do something; I can't bear the thought of standing by while knowing what they're doing to you!" James growled, running a hand through his hair frustrated. "It's wrong, Sirius...so...so wrong."

"James...I ..."

"Don't you dare say that it's all right," James bit out. "It's not."

"I can handle it, James."

"You shouldn't have to! When you told me your parents wanted you back for Christmas I knew I couldn't wait until then to talk to them, not if it meant you had to go back there. I Floo-called them, but they can't do anything, said they wished they could, but can't."

"The Black family is politically too powerful," James hated that Sirius' voice was full of understanding, not a hint of accusation towards James' parents for not being able to help.

"How can it be right that they can do as they please without anyone stopping them?"

"Because our world is filled with bigotry and power-hungry idiots," Sirius shrugged. "It's how monsters like Voldemort and his lackeys come into power. Because people just look away until it is too late."

"And that makes it all right?"

"No, but your parents can't risk everything for one stranger."

"You're not a stranger, you're my best friend; my brother," James shook his head, angry tears appearing in his eyes. "You are covered in scars that have no business existing. They carved a tree into your back that is no doubt going to scar as well. How can they not act?"

"In a perfect world, they probably could. But we don't live in a perfect world and with the war going on they can't risk tipping the fragile balance in Houses by going against the Black family. I understand perfectly and am already honoured that they wished they could do something," Sirius leaned forward to take James' hands; making him swallow as it wasn't often the dark-haired boy was taking the initiative in physical touch.

He'd been making an effort, though, and James was honoured that he was the one Sirius reached out to the most.

So he folded his fingers around Sirius', tightening his hold.

"How can I just stand by when I know you're being hurt? You said you don't want to see us hurt, but I can't bear the thought of you being hurt either. Seeing those wounds and knowing now that I can't stop them from hurting you..." James trailed off, unable to stop the tears from falling down.

"Just being here already helps me," he looked down at their entwined fingers. "I never expected to find friends here at Hogwarts or even on the train already. Never dared to hope that there would ever be people who cared about me, truly cared. Knowing the three of you are there, still at my side and not treating me differently despite knowing..."

He swallowed thickly as he trailed off, still staring at their hands. "I feel the same, you know?"

"About?" James didn't dare speak much higher above a whisper as he stared into the intense grey eyes.

"You're my brother, too. You and the others...you're my family," tears appeared in Sirius' eyes now, too. "I don't need you to do anything but remain just that, my friend."

"It's still wrong," James whispered and Sirius laughed, silent tears sliding down that he quickly brushed away.

"I know. I actually thought I deserved it until I met you guys."

"Then you're an idiot," James choked out.

"Maybe I am," Sirius agreed readily, squeezing his hand with a small smile.

"You're our idiot, though," James finished and Sirius smiled.

"I can live with that," giving a breathy laugh, James released Sirius' hand to carefully pull him into a hug, mindful of the still healing wounds.

Sirius shifted a little as he slipped into the embrace and James' heart skipped in joy as Sirius rested his head against James' shoulder without hesitation.

"I take it the solemnly swear is not a real vow, then?" Sirius eventually muttered, making no indication of moving any time soon and James was glad for it as he didn't want to move.

James sighed. "I'm sorry I violated your trust."

"You had a good reason and the fact that you only spoke to your parents tells me you did heed my request. So I vote that the vow is real, but can be broken if it is in our best interest to do so."

"Wouldn't that kind of break the purpose?" James asked, shifting so that he was lying down on the bed properly, pulling Sirius back with him.

"Maybe, but as long as we're okay with it that should be enough, don't you think?" Sirius curled up against his side, accepting the new position without protest as James pulled him close again.

"A definite promise just between the four of us," James mused, a small smile spreading over his lips. "I like that."

"Me too."

"Doesn't solve the problem, though," James sighed as he let his head fall back against the pillows.

"You could always ask your parents to invite me over for the summer holidays. It could be worth a shot," Sirius shrugged, yawning as he burrowed further against James like an oversized cat.

"If Mum plays on her Slytherin side, she might be able to do so in such a way that your parents can't refuse. I could also ask you over for the Christmas Holidays, under the pretence that everyone is coming over to celebrate it together."

"That would be nice, but the full moon is at the end of December so I doubt Remus' parents would let him come over when it over laps with that."

"He could come over for a few days and then return home under the pretence of spending New Year with his parents. Even if it's only for a few days that I can get you out of there, it would be worth it, wouldn't it be?"

"Yeah. But it's going to have to wait until later, though," Sirius shifted a little, draping one arm around James' stomach so that he was more comfortable.

"Why?"

"Because I am falling asleep and you make a good pillow," Sirius murmured and James laughed, brushing a hand over his back lightly before resting it loosely on his waist.

"Then sleep, Merlin knows you need it."

"You'll stay?"

The quiet question warmed James' heart and he tilted his head to press a kiss to the mop of dark hair resting on his shoulder.

"I solemnly swear."


End file.
